I don’t know about you guys but this week has been a real shit storm.
Easier To Run (But Please Stay)
TW/CW: Sui, Self Harm, Death
Listen to Easier To Run on Apple Music
Wounds so deep they never show, they never go away,
Like moving pictures in my head, for years and years they’ve played.
Love Thyself
School Daze Pt. 1
Hello again!
Well life, as it often does, got in the way for the last bit of February. And by life, I mean a delightful combo of being busy with school/work and also just not feeling me. It happens to the best of us and that’s ok. For me, it’s not that I feel just overall bad about myself but I just feel blah so I take some time to re-center and I go a little quiet on social media while I focus on getting a grip on my needs and obligations. Sometimes it seems like we try to force ourselves into this public sphere like we must keep up these appearances, but we really don’t have to. Social media should be something that’s fun and not something we feel chained to.
But now that the promise of spring break is here I’m feeling much more ready to hit the ground running!
Today was nothing special, just your typical Monday filled with homework, class, and grocery shopping; however, my new hair color inspired me to get cute for these mundane tasks because my stylist worked some straight up magic on my head.
I seriously have THE BEST stylist in the world because when I told her to just do what she wanted she created this bismuth looking masterpiece! If you live in or around San Marcos, Texas and you don’t go to The Parlour Salon to get your hair done I question your life choices because those folks are hair witches (esp. my boo Heather).
What can I say, I’m the daughter of a hair stylist so when my hair looks this good I feel fucking amazing! (As you can tell by this fat smile!)
And of course I have to give the awesome Sugar Bones a shoutout for this perfect patch:
So yeah guys, never feel bad about taking time for you, often the clouds will roll away and you’ll feel like getting fancy again with time. Social media will be there when you get back.
Love you all!
-Charlie
Springtime in February
We are in the home stretch for Fatshion February!
I’m actually a little sad about it. True, I haven’t participated daily (who has time for that I mean honestly) but it has been a blast sharing looks with you guys.
This week was a doozy. I’m not sure why I’ve just been in kind of a crappy headspace. It happens to the best of us. But I really needed to use this weekend to re-center myself and do some self-care and that, my darlings, is exactly what I did.
My closest loves and I went to our favorite little wine spot in town (that is finally open on Saturday during the day praise the goddess!) and drank an exorbitant amount of cheap/strong mimosas ($6 a carafe are you kidding me) and ate pizza.
Then we went to Target and departed to our homes for a nap. We swear that we’re in our late 20’s and not our mid 50’s.
It was also in the high 80’s outside because seasons mean nothing, but that at least meant I got to get hella cute in this ModCloth blouse I snagged for a steal:
I mean just look at all the CATS!
Bless ModCloth and their sales. One day I swear I will make a post about being a bargain babe because I honestly never buy things at full price.
But today, Sunday, I am fully content with not putting on pants and not leaving my house.
Love you all!
-Charlie
AF(atshion)I
1/2 way through this Fatshion adventure.
It’s been a weird few days for me. I’ve been in a cruddy headspace and just generally blah.
BUT there was a light at the end of the tunnel, for the first time in a decade I got to see one of my absolute favorite bands, AFI. The last time I saw them I was a wee babe at 16 sweating my ass off at Warped Tour and I have to say that they were just as amazing last night as they were 10 years ago. Not to mention my look was worlds better than it was back then:
And I love the opportunity to rock pieces from some fabulous women-owned businesses like this killer Witch Worldwide crop and this perfect bat necklace from my favorite local spot in San Marcos, Texas Bower Bird (seriously if you’re ever in the area do yourself a favor and check them out).
Of course, there were a few drunk white guys getting way too damn pushy, my body hates me, and my ears are still ringing but it was so worth it.
Love you guys!
-Charlie
Fatter in Person
Fatshion February now with 90% more fat.
Social media is a tricky place. I talked a bit about this in my first post here but we often have a tendency to curate our images in these spaces to be ones that are exceptionally flattering. That isn’t always a bad thing, we should be able to choose the sides of ourselves that make us feel the most empowered and happy. But personally, I think it’s important to dissect why we find certain things to be flattering, is it because we are still adhering to what society says is acceptable or are we doing what makes us happy. If it’s the latter awesome! That’s what your space should be about, making you happy; but if your definition of flattering is based on what society says is ok it may be time to push those boundaries.
For me, those boundaries are linked to representation. Even now that we see far more plus size bodies represented than we used to very few of them look like me or any of the other fat folks I know. There’s an ‘acceptable’ way to be fat now and trust I am not it. I have small boobs, a fat face, my tummy is large, I have back fat, and I’m short. By most rules of ‘flattering,’ I should basically wear a muumuu, hide forever, or only show certain sides but I say fuck flattering. I’m fat from every side and I want to celebrate my body. I want people who are outside the ‘acceptable’ boundaries to feel empowered and represented.
So here’s me, fat from the front:
All that VBO.
Here’s me, fat from the side:
Tummy love!
And here’s my back fat representing:
Rolls on rolls on rolls y’all!
The point I’m getting at is that you should make yourself happy no matter what. If you want to wear a back fat bearing crop top DO IT, if you prefer to dress more modestly DO IT, just make sure that whatever you do you’re doing it for you and not because you feel like you have to follow some rule book.
Love you guys,
-Charlie
Forever Fall
I hope you guys are loving Fatshion February as much as I am!
For those that don’t know let me fill you in: I live in Texas. I hate it. And one of the major reasons I hate it (that isn’t politics or culture related) it THE GODDAMN LACK OF SEASONS! I mean look at me, I’m in shorts on February 8th:
Don’t get it twisted, this look gave me life today (because after 2 nights of shit sleep something needed to), I felt adorable rocking all my VBO but ugh I have so many cute cozy looks that I’m dying to wear.
I’m sure if I had lived my whole life in a place where it’s always cold I’d be singing a different song at the thermometer reading 85 degrees but after 27 years I’m over it. I think that’s why despite it being February I went for something that has a Fall vibe, you know, rebelling against the blasphemous weather while not dying of heatstroke.
Beyond my angst about the weather, this look feels really empowering to me. There was a time not so long ago that I wouldn’t be caught dead with VBO, every top had to cover my belly outline and if it didn’t I hated it. Now, I will happily admit there are still times I struggle with showing off my VBO, and that is ok, you’re not going to feel… brazen (see what I did there =P) all the time. But, I encourage you to embrace it when you do feel it, don’t run from your boldness just dive into it and roll around in it, trust me people will notice how empowered you look/feel and you may just inspire them too.
Now for some fun outtakes because I’m an actual ham 95% of the time:
Love you guys,
-Charlie
I Put A ‘Hex’ On You
Fatshion February continues!
When I was a teen my aesthetic was unquestionably “Poor Kid Goth.” Add to that the fat element and I had to make some… creative choices. Now that the world of plus size fashion has expanded I’m able to flex those mosh pit honed muscles once again and create looks I never dreamed I could back then.
It also lets me flex my silver tongue a bit because while the world of plus size fashion has grown the minds of men haven’t.
In my formative years it wasn’t my dress size that drew ire (I’m maybe a size larger than I was then), it was my fashion choices, and I have to report that in the 10+ years since I walked the halls of my high school as an angsty sophomore jackasses still think it’s a good idea to comment on my looks.
Today when I was leaving class a rather fratty looking boy (I’m 27 so most of the males I encounter on my university’s campus are boys to me) quipped, “Ooooo, are you gonna hex me?”
Admittedly I was proud he used the term ‘hex’ since it’s so much more creative than ‘curse’ but that only gets you so far. I looked him in the eye and said, “I wasn’t planning on it but I’m sure I can pencil you in,” stared a moment longer, and sauntered off. Cowards never know what to do when you aren’t flustered by them.
Moving on from dumbfounded boys.
Since I didn’t make a post for the weekend I thought I’d give you a recap:
Saturday I grabbed a couple of glasses of wine with some of my favorite people in the world and rocked a whole different side of me that my best friend (and regular photographer) has coined “Spinster Chic.” My lady best featured here also got all dolled up. HOW GORGEOUS IS SHE I MEAN REALLY STAHP!
I also channeled some of my political rage into some hard femme embroidery pieces:
No Sunday look because I honestly spent all day in my ratty pj shirt and embroidered and made Sunday Sauce so… yeah.
Love you all!
-Charlotte
No Thanks…
We are keeping the Fatshion February train rolling! And today it’s all about one of the best pieces of clothing I own.
The ever sought after “No Thanks” sweatshirt from Forever21 Plus:
I think I first saw Margot Meanie rocking this baby sometime last year and I immediately needed it in my life; of course, it was sold out. Then many months later they finally restocked it and I didn’t think twice about adding it to my wardrobe.
Every single time I wear this a woman tells me she loves it. I think there’s something about a piece of clothing that nicely tells people to fuck off that women are just naturally drawn to.
And this being Fatshion February let’s take a moment to appreciate these fat rolls! I’d say a majority of the photos I have of myself are either selfies or I’m standing and part of this whole body love journey is loving yourself from every perspective. I remember hating how I looked in the random photo that would pop up of me sitting down because of those rolls but now I love photos like this because, hey, fuck it this is what I look like when I’m sitting. Mind you this took some time, learning to love your body for what it is instead of hating it for what it isn’t is a long journey, but when you get over those big hurdles it feels amazing.
And for funsies here are some outtakes because I’m kind of ridiculous (thank god my photographer human likes me):
Love you!
-Charlotte
HAPPY FATSHION FEBRUARY!
It’s quite possibly one of my favorite times of the year, Fatshion February!
Many Americans, myself included, are feeling incredibly overwhelmed due to our current administration. When things are so bleak it’s really important to remember the things that bring you joy and for me one of those things is fashion.
Admittedly, when I feel overwhelmed, as I have these past few weeks, it can be hard to do something as seemingly frivolous as getting dressed up. I always end up thinking, “There is SO much more to worry about than what I’m wearing…” and I end up looking like a bedraggled swamp monster. Mind you, there is nothing wrong with looking like a bedraggled swamp monster, in fact, I often enjoy nothing more than a full-fledged swamp monster weekend, but when I’m in that mode simply because I feel like I’m drowning I hate it. I think this is why I’m incredibly pumped for Fatshion February this year. Don’t get me wrong, it’s always fun to participate in FF (save for the inevitable trolls but eh fuck ’em) but this year I feel like I need the push, the inspiration, the reason, to get me to do this important bit of my self-care routine.
Anyhoo, to the fun fatshion part!
You’re going to hear this a lot throughout this month and throughout the life of this blog I’m sure: I LOVE RUE21! Their plus size selection is fun, cheap, and comfortable and for me, that’s what I need in my life. I snagged this killer little (and by little I def mean short, I’m 5’5″ and a gentle breeze threatens to give folks a show) swing dress from them recently for like $12 online and I would live in it if I could. First off HOLY SOFTNESS BATMAN! It feels like the softest most amazing thing you’ve ever worn and then some but it’s not too heavy, which considering I live in Texas is great. This is also one of those personal victory pieces for me. Being incredibly pear-shaped I’ve always struggled feeling comfortable in something that doesn’t have a defined waist so YAY to telling traditional rules for what’s flattering to jump off a cliff.
I also have to give Sock Dreams a shoutout, these socks are technically thigh highs but they come up to my knee and with my fat legs, that’s a feat. I have had them for a while so I honestly don’t remember what kind they are but Sock Dreams is worth checking out if you haven’t already.
I can’t wait to see everyone’s looks this month and beyond!
Love,
Charlie
(Com)passionate Protest
Tearing down the establishment by building up each other.
On Friday, myself and millions of Americans watched the unthinkable happen. In 2017, a man was inaugurated into our highest office who is a blatant racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, narcissist; a man who is not qualified in the least to be the head of our nation, a man who gets in more twitter fights than the average 13-year-old. Beyond that, our House and Senate are being run by a party that doesn’t believe in global warming, a woman’s right to choose, that people should have affordable/accessible healthcare, and on and on and on.
Shit seems bleak to say the least.
We have a long and arduous road ahead of us. And what is on my mind, and I know it’s on the minds of many others, is what do we do now? What is our course of action? How do we fight back?
Of course, there’s protesting, showing the world the sheer mass of people who refuse to be silent in the wake of this insanity. If you have the means (spoons, money, transport, physical ability, etc.), please, do that. Please hit the streets and make them see us, and I commend the MILLIONS of people who did just that on Saturday.
But for some of us, that’s not really a viable option. I have seen so many lament that they felt like bad activists, feminists, what-have-you because they couldn’t march on Saturday. Let’s just clear that up right now: You are not less of an activist, you do not care less about what’s happening in our country, you are not a failure because you couldn’t attend a march.
Personally, I had to work that day, and though being among so many amazing people raising my voice would have been incredible, paying my rent must take priority, and I know a ton of people were in that boat as well, and that’s ok. For some, their anxiety doesn’t allow them to be in such mass crowds of people, and that is ok because your mental health should always take priority. And something HUGE that we don’t always think about when issues like this are discussed is that some just don’t have the mobility to navigate things like protests, no matter how accessible they try to make them. There are of course many other reasons people who wanted to attend couldn’t and why people will not be able to attend such events in the future.
The thing is, protesting is not all we’ve got going for us. There are many other things we can do on a micro level that will push back against this Trumpster Fire that is about to sweep the nation.
Make Your Representative’s Lives Hell
I mean it. Call them daily – hell if you have time, call them multiple times. If you’re like me and you work from home call (there will likely be a wait), put that shit on speaker and continue working, cleaning, dancing, petting your cat, whatever. Leave voicemails, leave 100. Email them constantly. Snail mail them letters. And do this often. Let them know if they vote against the interest of the people that we will fire them – let them know we are paying attention. You could even get together with friends and make calling them a group event!
You can find out how to contact your reps here: http://www.house.gov/representatives/find/
Get Involved Locally
I know this is easier said than done. I don’t often have the spoons to go to a bunch of local events and you may be just like me. But if you do have the gumption, go to town hall meetings, sit in on your city council if you can, meet with the people who run your city and let THEM know that people are watching. If you’re good at things like this, and have the time, form community groups that keep local lawmakers accountable. Put together lists of lawyers in your area who will work with LGBTQ+ folks, lawyers who are willing to advise people free of charge, maybe even organize a community event with a few lawyers where people can ask questions and get to know the system better.
Use Your Resources
There’s a huge chance that if you’re reading this, you’re in the same boat as me: You don’t have money. Sure, you maybe have enough for rent and the occasional Saturday night out but you’re not in the position to bankroll anyone anytime soon. But that doesn’t mean you’re without resources. Do you have a car? Do you know other people who also have cars? Form a local ride share for folks who need to get to your nearest Planned Parenthood (or other sort of care facility), because things are about to get rough healthcare-wise. Are you perhaps a social worker? Maybe you know of some underutilized resources in your area that could be better promoted. Do you have some free time? Offer to watch a friend’s kids while they go to the doctor or even just the grocery store. Or use that time to campaign for a politician you believe in (when the time comes for that). Do you speak another language? Offer to translate for people in your community. Have some extra clothing? Donate to a women’s shelter. Do you know a trade (hairstylist, mechanic, etc.)? Offer your services for free or at a discount to someone in need, or organize with others to form a group that can offer services (taking the stress of that off one person).
Learn A Skill
Maybe you have a little extra time (I know, I know) and you’ve been wanting to learn a new skill? Well, now is the time to do it. Maybe you want to become a Doula – folks with uteruses will be needing the extra help and that’s a valuable skill set to have. Learn first aid, how to sew, gardening, basic mechanic skills, carpentry skills, and on and on. Those may seem like little things but they can be valuable to you and your community.
Take Care of One Another
This one seems so trivial, so tiny. But when we are facing an administration that doesn’t value many of us as human beings, this is ridiculously important. We live in a society where so many of us are overworked, underpaid, and are just exhausted. On top of that, asking for help has become incredibly taboo – the American way is to pull yourself up by the bootstraps without having others lend you a helping hand. I say fuck that. We, as a nation, seem to have forgotten that community means caring for one another and having compassion means loving people no matter the reason they are struggling. We need to dismantle the idea that needing help is weakness. We need to dismantle the idea that needing a support system makes us leaches. We need to destroy these ideas because they are fueling so much of the legislation that is trying to be passed right now. We need a new American Way and that starts with us all being better neighbors.
Have weekly potlucks with your friends, or if you can, just feed your friends once a week, maybe trade weeks with people so that one meal a week is covered. Open you home to people when they just need a place to breathe, cry, scream. Have a damn cocktail party, have coffee and dessert, have tea ( all areSO much less work than dinner) and trade ideas with your friends, have conversations, ask them how they are. Use this time to organize yourselves. Then take these little things to your community if you can. Organize a community potluck where people can gather and discuss things and network. Pair up with local businesses to have nights where the community is encouraged to gather and talk about improvements that can be made, where people can make themselves available to help others. And speaking of local businesses: SUPPORT THEM. They are often great places and you’d be surprised the resources you may be able to find there.
Obviously, there are literally thousands of other ways to make the world around us better – I haven’t even scratched the surface and I’d love for you to tell me ways you have found to strengthen your community. But the one thing I hope you take away from this is that we all can make a difference – we can all fight back – and we should.
In the spirit of this post, the AMAZING artist Tara O’Brien provided the illustration. Please check her out through one (or all) of the links below, you won’t regret it!
Facebook Instagram Tara O Brien & Co.
thebrazenchroniclescom.wordpress.com 